


No Children

by kelsoarr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, First Love, Fluffy Ending, Hospitals, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Other, Romantic Fluff, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2558186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelsoarr/pseuds/kelsoarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius finds himself stuck in the emergency room on a Saturday night with a busted up face and a puking James Potter, absolutely nothing could turn his night around- well, almost nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is finished! Thanks to all who kept reading!

Sirius had always thought of himself as a put-together, reasonable person.

Okay, so that’s not necessarily true, but at least he has never been a complete mess of a person either.

  
Alright, that also might not be strictly “true” if he’s being completely honest with himself, but at the very least he felt that, even as a utter mess of a human being; he had managed (up until recent events) to seem remarkably put-together.

  
Yeah, that sounds about right.

  
The truth is Sirius has felt like nothing more than a mess since the day he was born. Chances are the first coherent thought he put together as a child was about how he could simultaneously disappoint his mother while managing to get whatever it was he wanted in the most flamboyant way possible. If infants are thought of as a clean slate, pure and free of sin, Sirius was born already having committed several transgressions. When you’re young those around you are the mirror in which you see yourself, and the one Sirius had to look through was always cracked and dirty.

  
Or at least it was until James Potter came into his life.

  
Oh, James. Jamesy James. Jaaaaaamessss.

  
Sirius honestly had no idea where he would be without the Potters, being adopted into their family had been like taking his first fresh breathe of air after seventeen years of stumbling around in a cave. After years of seeing himself only through a broken mirror, life with the Potters was like looking into a clear pool of water. Everything was clean, new, and bright- even Sirius.

  
That’s why Sirius loved James with such a fierce loyalty it was almost scary. Together they were a duo unlike the streets of London had ever seen! (Or at least they were in their heads)

  
Weekends that had once been spent either alone in his room thinking of new and inventive ways to cause destruction to Black family property where now spent gallivanting with James causing different kinds of destruction. Sirius had never been happier in his life- the Christmas he got his motorbike excluded- than when he was out with James.  
So when James got completely pissed and found himself in a bar fight with a fellow twice his size, Sirius wasn’t going to just let him get away with pummeling his best mate’s face in, that's just not his style.

  
Unfortunately for Sirius, the man quickly grew more preoccupied with the lad in the leather jacket who’d given him a shiner rather than the lanky (obviously shitfaced) one in glasses who could hardly see straight.

  
This series of unfortunate events all lead to where Sirius was currently, which was in the waiting area of the emergency room bleeding profusely, where he sat in a deep melancholy wondering 1. how exactly he was going to explain this situation to Mrs. Potter (as her little James was currently puking his guts out in another wing of the hospital) 2. Why he was such a bloody mess of a human being 3. If the several lacerations caused by the other bloke’s ring would scar his otherwise perfect face and lastly, why the guy across the aisle from him kept staring at his face like he’d never seen another person before.

  
To be fair it was four in the morning. Sirius had been pummeled like he was a punching bag and the other guy was a boxer. Instead of James tending to his wounds and admiring his bravery like he properly should be, he was tossing his lunch somewhere else in this hell-hole. In short- Sirius felt bloody awful and he wasn’t going to let some scrawny gent in a raggedy jumper way too big for his skinny person stare at him all bug-eyed. Which is why he made what was, in retrospect, the rather stupid decision to yell at a complete stranger while waiting for James to get through nearly dying of alcohol poisoning.

  
“Oi, mate!” Sirius shouted, tasting blood in his mouth and trying not to gag.

  
Jumper boy raised an eyebrow in his direction as if to say “yes?”. It was the most condescending eyebrow in all of history, Sirius decided right then and there he absolutely hated this guy, his stupid maroon jumper, the hair curling lightly at his temples, his bloody green eyes, and everything he stood for.

  
“Ya mind not staring, huh? Have you never seen another bloke before or are you just a moron?”

  
Sirius attempted to sneer, but the swelling in his face prevented him from succeeding. He hoped the fact he was covered in blood and wearing multiple shades of black managed to up his intimidation factor.

  
Maroon jumper McCurly here actually had the audacity to scoff, to bloody scoff at Sirius fucking Black- right to his face! He even rolled his eyes, crossed his legs, and bodily turned away from him for good measure.

  
Then, the complete arse, pulled some book seemingly out of thin air and began serenely reading like he wasn’t currently sitting in an emergency room surrounded by multiple unfortunate souls leaking bodily fluids and/or missing important parts of their person.

  
That was the final straw for Sirius. There are many things Sirius will tolerate, he’s a tolerant person, but he will not be ignored- especially for a stack of paper by a guy who looks like he dressed himself in the dark.

  
With what was left of his blood pounding angrily through his veins, and adding to his mounting headache, Sirius sat up quickly (a choice he immediately regretted as the ground swam beneath him) and staggered over to sit next to the bloke who dared not answer him, in order to demand his attention.

  
He sat down right next to him, so he and jumper boy were now directly facing each other if he would just put down his stupid bloody book.

  
Sirius glared wordlessly at him for a few seconds, expecting him to react to the fact he’d traveled all of ten feet merely to sit there, but it was as if he was invisible- a situation to which Sirius was entirely not used to.

  
After a few more agonizing seconds, where all that happened was Sirius started to breathe heavier to announce his presence and book boy managed to turn a few pages of his book, seemingly oblivious to his visitor, Sirius finally snapped.

  
“Hey!” He shouted, leaning forward so he was only a few inches away from the tattered book that smelled faintly like topsoil.

  
No response, except one more page of the book calmly being turned.

  
How infuriating.

  
“I said hello, you twat.” Sirius muttered, sloshing forward as he tried to squint menacingly, thinking for the first time that the sheer amount of alcohol still in his system might be contributing to his level of anger at this complete stranger.

  
“That’s not how I remember it.” The other boy muttered dryly, pointedly turning another page of the book.

  
“Oh is that so?” Sirius replied, attempting to match the other boy’s tone of voice. He reached forward and pushed the book down so they could look eye to eye and was both startled and exhilarated to see a glimmer of anger shining through his otherwise cool demeanor.

  
“Yes it is so.” The boy replied darkly, each word sounding vaguely like a threat, “and if you could not touch my book with your gross, leaking body I would very much appreciate it.”

  
He jerked his book from under Sirius’s palm and quickly turned once again so all Sirius could see as he sat, mouth hanging wide open in shock, was the back of the stranger’s messy head and the stretched neck of his jumper.

  
“I…” Sirius tried to come up with a coherent, witty response and failed. He wasn’t altogether used to guys that looked like people he could definitely beat in a fight not immediately backing down when faced with even a modicum of Sirius’s bravado.

  
This was way more fun.

  
Suddenly feeling much more sober, Sirius decided this stranger was not near as bad as he seemed at first and was definitely someone he wanted to be friends with, now all he needed to do was convince him he was not, contrary to previous experience, a complete arsehole.

  
Considering the boy appeared intent on aggressively ignoring Sirius this would be a challenge, but Sirius was nothing if not utterly charming and always up for a challenge.  
He stood up and moved so he was once again face to face with him, and attempted to flash him a winning smile. (desperately hoping his teeth were mostly blood free and intact)

  
“I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot here, mate.” Sirius began, jumper boy stopped shoving his book down in a bag long enough to give Sirius a stare cold enough to strike down a lesser man.

  
Sirius gulped, feeling inexplicably nervous all of a sudden but determined to continue, “What I mean is I’m still a bit sauced, pretty banged up, and not necessarily in the right mind so I said some things, you said some things, things neither of us meant I am sure, but we are both here for a reason with time to kill and you could keep staring at me from a distance or we could be friends, what do ya say?”

  
Sirius offered him the least offensively bloody of his two hands and focused on maintaining his smile without giving away how much agony his face was still in.  
Jumper boy raised his eyebrow once more, but this time Sirius found it much more endearing, especially when it was accompanied by the boy offering his own hand to quickly shake Sirius’s before placing it deep into his over-sized pants pockets.

  
“I wasn’t staring at you.” He offered quietly, “I was looking at the patch on your jacket.”

  
He nodded towards one of the many patches and buttons adorning Sirius’s favorite leather jacket, this one said “NO CHILDREN” in red, block letters.

  
“Oh…” Sirius glanced quickly down at his jacket and felt an increasing sense of embarrassment at his own idiocy, “That… err, it’s a song by a band I like I don’t just hate kids, I mean I don’t necessarily like kids either but the patch-”

  
“No, no, I know.” He interrupted, chuckling slightly, “That’s why I was staring, it’s not often you see a bloke in an emergency room looking like he just lost a fight with a lawn mower wearing a patch from your favorite band.”

  
As if to add proof to his claim he pulled out a small laptop from his bag decorated with a sticker the exact same as Sirius’s patch, and gave him a sheepish smile.  
Sirius found himself blushing furiously, of all the people he could choose to pick a fight with a cute (if not well-dressed) boy who also likes his favorite band was definitely not the best option. Cute boys typically don’t like to make out with you if you insult them.

  
“I”m sorry I called you a moron.” He blurted without thinking, and immediately regretted it. Maybe he’d forgotten, damn it! It’s not bloody likely, but he could have.

  
Fortunately, the boy laughed, instead of doing something terrible like reminding Sirius he’d also called him a “twat” or slapping him, “Quite alright. I should have said something instead of staring, I suppose. Plus we already established you’re a drunk, stupid git so I shouldn’t be too offended.”

  
He smiled wickedly and Sirius’s insides did an interesting series of acrobatics.

  
“I don’t remember saying I was a stupid git.” Sirius replied, smiling back.

  
The boy shrugged and his jumper slipped slightly down his shoulder exposing his collarbone. Sirius tried really hard to not think about running his fingers over it and kissing the soft skin.

  
“It was implied.” The boy remarked, placing his laptop back in his bag.

  
Sirius cleared his throat, surprised to find that despite the fact he’d been forgiven for his lack of tact earlier he still found his stomach consumed by nerves. He wondered vaguely where James was and hoped he still had a few good pukes left in him so Sirius could chat up this fuzzy-haired boy with good music taste a bit longer.

  
“So what’s your name?” Sirius asked, scooting slightly forward and resting his elbow on the back of the remarkably uncomfortable hospital bench.

  
The boy placed his bag on the floor, turning to the side and resting his elbow to mimic Sirius.

  
“Remus.” He said with a small smile.

  
Sirius’s own smile widened.

  
“I’m Sirius.” He offered. “Sirius Black.”

  
“That’s a unique name.”

  
“I’m a unique person.”

  
“Mm. I’m sure.”

  
“So, come here often?” Sirius said with a wink, but was surprised to see Remus react by widening his eyes in shock before quickly looking down and picking at the frayed edges of his sweater.

  
Well that’s suspicious.

  
“ ‘Course not,” Remus said with a short laugh, “What about you? You look like someone who belongs in an emergency room.” He pointed at Sirius’s face.  
The disheveled state of his being (and how bloody awful of a first impression that is on top of the shitty job he'd managed already) overshadowed his curiosity about Remus’s strange reaction to his question. He wondered if Remus was into the delinquent type. Or guys at all.

  
Well now was as good of a time as any to test those waters.

  
“Hey now, that’s stereotyping.” He chastised, “I swear I’m a perfectly respectable gentleman, most days. The type a lad would take home to mum for sure, once I’ve cleaned up a bit, and given that his mum enjoys motorcycles.” He winked again, in case he’d been too subtle, and was pleasantly surprised to see a self-conscious blush creep onto Remus’s face.

  
“I don’t know about others mums, but mine has a pretty negative stance on motorcycles.” Remus replied.

  
“That’s because she hasn’t met me yet.” Sirius said with what he hoped was his most flirtatious smile, it was hard to tell when half his face still felt like a bruise.

  
“Are you hitting on me Mr. Black?” Remus smirked, raising a singular eyebrow.

  
“That depends, Mr… err..”

  
“Lupin.” Remus replied patiently, obviously suppressing a laugh.

  
“Mr. Lupin.” Sirius said, “are you into it?”

  
Remus leaned back on the bench, running his hands through his hair like he was in deep thought. Sirius tried not to be really turned on by this and failed.

  
“Hmm… not sure. I’d have to get to know you better.” He finally answered with a shrug, his now slightly messy hair framing his face in a way that was both beautiful and sexy and probably illegal in a few countries.

  
“Well it sounds like we better go on a date, then.” Sirius reasoned, after he finally collected himself, “Are you free right now?”

  
“Am I free right now?” Remus looked at Sirius like he’d gone mental, “It’s 5 AM and we’re in the waiting room of an emergency room, aren’t you going to be called soon?”

  
Sirius shook his head, “Nah, I’m waiting on my best mate, James.”

  
Remus blinked in confusion, “but your face…”

  
Sirius interrupted him with a laugh, “This?” He pointed at the wound that was his face, “You think I would go to the hospital for a nosebleed like this?”

  
Remus raised both his eyebrows and continued to look at Sirius like he had suddenly grown horns, “You look like you fought a ton of bricks and lost, badly.” He said slowly as if he was afraid Sirius couldn't understand him.

  
Sirius waved his hand around as if he could physically shoo Remus’s words away, “No mate, I’m fine. This is standard weekend debauchery. So you free? You don’t even look sick.”

  
Remus glanced down hurriedly and Sirius suddenly remembered his strange reaction from earlier, does he just not like hospitals?

  
“I didn’t mean that offensively, I mean, I’m sure you’re here for a reason or…” Sirius started to apologize.

  
“No, no.” Remus shook his head, “You’re right, I’m here with my, err, my mum, actually. I just can’t leave the hospital, is all.” He shrugged, a small smile quickly passing over his lips.

  
Sirius had a feeling Remus was lying but decided not to push it, a man was allowed his secrets.

  
“Well I can’t leave either- James would murder me- but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have our date!” He bounded out of his seat to dramatically offer Remus his out-stretched hand.

  
“So… you in?” He smiled, savoring the look of equal parts confusion and amusement on Remus’s face.

  
“For a first date… in a hospital?” Remus asked slowly.

  
“If it’s not the best date you’ve ever had, you’re free to spit in my face and never speak to me again. Deal?”

  
Remus hesitated, shifting his eyes from Sirius’s face to his offered hand and chewing his bottom lip in contemplation. Sirius tried to quell his rising panic as he considered for the first time that this might all go horribly wrong, and how awkward that would be.

  
“Well… how can I say no to an offer like that?” Remus finally answered with a sly smile, placing his hand in Sirius’s.

  
Sirius’s heart did cartwheels through his ribcage as he marveled at how warm and soft Remus’s hand was, he laced their fingers together and grabbed Remus’s bag from the floor, slinging it over his shoulder.

  
Maybe he could turn this night around, after all


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has a secret, and Sirius hates not knowing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who have read and enjoyed so far xoxo

“That’s the spirit!” He said with enough confidence to make him almost forget he ever doubted Remus’s answer, “First things first let’s get some food, you look simply famished, darling.”

 

“Darling?” Remus sputtered in surprise.

 

“What, don’t like pet names?” Sirius said as he lead Remus through the perilous rows of sick and injured patients.

 

“No it’s just I…”

 

“Prefer something else then?” Sirius responded as he leaped over a sleeping man and felt Remus struggle to follow suit. “Baby? Sweetie? Snookums? Honey? Dear?” he dodged a man who looked like he’d fell into a room full of angry bees. This was already the most fun he’d had in weeks.

 

“Woah- you almost hit that man!” Remus squeaked out in surprise, “And no I just-”

 

“Darling it is then!” Sirius proclaimed, amused by Remus’s exasperated sigh. “Step lively, Remus darling, we must make haste! For the hour grows late and I hunger for sustenance.” He pushed the double doors leading them out of the waiting room and into the main part of the hospital open with a dramatic flourish, looking around for some sort of map that would tell him where the cafeteria is.

 

Remus heaved a sigh that was weary enough to come from a man twice his age, and tugged Sirius to the left of the corridor.

 

“Cafeteria is over here, dearest.” He said in the dry way Sirius had begun to realize was Remus’s take on humor.

 

Sirius was thoroughly enjoying Remus taking charge, there was something both exhilarating and slightly ridiculous about weaving your way through a hospital while holding hands with a near stranger. It definitely screamed “adventure”, a call Sirius was always powerless in refusing.

 

“How do you know your way so well around this place, anyway?” Sirius mused aloud as he glanced around in wonder at the innards of the hospital, (and also at Remus’s arse a little, maybe) a content smile plastered over his still moderately damaged face.

 

Remus hesitated so slightly it was nearly imperceptible, Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He was most definitely hiding a secret in that fluffy-haired head of his and Sirius didn’t like being kept in the dark.

 

“Oh, you know…” Remus said as casually as someone lying through their teeth could manage, “the usual ways a young male person finds himself in the hospital.”

“Which would be…?” Sirius asked, Remus stiffened and his grip on Sirius’s hand tightened involuntarily.

 

“You should know all about that, why are you asking me? Just look at your face- not all of us avoid the hospital when we’re injured like that, you know. Oh look- here we are! The cafeteria! Let’s hurry we wouldn’t want you to starve, that would truly be a tragic end to this date, I can’t punch you in the face for disappointing me if you’re dead! Step lively!” 

 

Remus spoke so quickly Sirius barely had time to process what he said before he was bodily yanked to the front of one of the most dingy cafeterias in all of human history.

 

“Yow!” Sirius yelped, freeing his arm from the surprisingly strong grip of Remus Lupin.

 

“Watch it mate, I need this hand for things!” He muttered, rubbing his wrist.

 

“Things?”

 

“Things!”

 

“What kind of things do you use your right hand for, specifically?” Remus inquired innocently.

 

“...Things, things!” Sirius sputtered, completely caught off guard, “Just stuff, ya know, we have two for a reason!” He flapped his arms around as if to prove a point, though he wasn’t sure what.

 

“Mmhmm…” Remus grabbed a tray and started piling enough questionable hospital food on it to feed an army.

 

“Are you insinuating I do something unsavory with my right hand, Mr. Lupin?” Sirius asked, completely flabbergasted, not because he wasn’t used to hearing such talk, (He was friends with James Potter, after all) but because Remus looked like the type of guy who would enjoy puns and riddles and scoff at you over a cup of tea for telling a dirty joke.

 

“Me?” Remus said, the picture of innocence as he added two chocolate bars to his tray, “Never.” He glanced over at Sirius, only to flash him a knowing smile that started a fire deep in Sirius’s abdomen, before walking past to make his purchases at the register.

 

Surprise, bewilderment, being speechless; these were all new sensations for Sirius Black, who- despite the fact he was maybe more than a little bit of a mess of a person- had always been confident in the fact that he maintained the upper hand in any and every social interaction.

 

Yet here he was, standing in a hospital cafeteria at 5 in the morning, mouth agape, because a lanky boy who read books for fun in an oversized moth-bitten sweater had made a masturbation joke at his expense.

 

“This is… totally unfair.” Sirius muttered to no one in particular, before loading up his own tray and heading over to join the boy in question.

 

Remus was digging into his turkey sandwich with a relish that Sirius usually saved for Thanksgiving when James’s mum made about fifteen different types of pie, it was almost beautiful to watch.

 

“You’re eating like you’ve never seen food before.” Sirius mentioned with a small laugh, opening his own bag of crisps and popping a handful in his mouth.

Remus mumbled something incoherent through a mouthful of meat and cheese, while opening a giant bar of milk chocolate.

 

“Slow down, mate. You’re gonna choke.” Sirius leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the small formica table- hoping he looked just the right amount of rebelliously carefree and attractive to distract Remus from his chocolate and win his heart.

 

Remus chuckled, “Sorry…” He mumbled, finally swallowing the remainder of his sandwich, “I haven’t been able to eat whatever I want in so long it’s awesome- almost none of this has any nutritional value…”

 

He beamed down ecstatically at his plate of sweets and various junk foods, before shoving half of a chocolate bar in his mouth.

 

“Your parents really strict or somethin’?” Sirius asked as casually as possible, hoping he could glean some information from Remus while his guard was down.

 

Remus smiled a strange, smile that was very nearly a grimace, “Yeah they are… they have reasons, though, but sometimes- no matter how good these reasons are- it’s annoying not being able to just live, ya know? Normally.” He glanced down at his tray with a look Sirius couldn’t quite place.

 

At this point it wasn’t even subtle anymore that Remus was hiding something major about himself. Sirius may be self-involved but he wasn’t oblivious; a young man, hanging around a hospital, lying about his reasons for being there, who is held to a strict diet… it would take a complete moron not to piece together Remus was here for reasons larger than a mysteriously absent sick mum.

 

Either Remus was going to tell Sirius what was going on or not, but he was going to try his hardest to weasel it out of him, regardless.

 

“Is your family a bunch of vegans? Is that your big secret?” Sirius asked in mock horror, “This is a mistake, I don’t think I can date a vegan- a weird boy he habituates hospitals for fun and lies to strangers about having a sick mum, maaaybe, but a vegan…” Sirius winced like he was in pain and shook his head sadly.

 

Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius, “You’re fishing, Black.” He said in a tone that was both half a joke and half a threat. Sirius decided to ignore the threat part and keep pushing.

He leaned forward and steepled his fingers, resting his chin on his hands and raising a singular eyebrow in imitation of Remus.

 

“And you’re hiding something, Lupin.”

 

Remus narrowed his eyes further until they were slits.

 

Sirius narrowed his.

 

Remus leaned forward.

 

So did Sirius.

 

Both boys were silent as they locked eyes in a staring contest, a battle for dominance over a pile of half-eaten junk at five in the morning. Somewhere in the back of his brain not focused on staring down Remus, he contemplated how absurd literally everything was at this moment, before completely disregarding that train of thought.

 

Remus twitched.

 

Sirius smiled.

 

“God damn it, Black! Fine! You win.” He slammed his hands on the table and leaned back, rubbing his fists on his burning eyes.

 

“Yes!” Sirius jumped up in his moment of triumph, before immediately rubbing his palms on his closed eyes and groaning in relief as he blinked excessively.

 

“Now… what is it I win exactly?” Sirius asked as he sat back down, only minutely enjoying the pout Remus was wearing as he looked over at Sirius with an exasperated expression, thin arms crossed tightly over his chest.

 

Remus went to open his mouth, but was immediately stopped as his body was wracked by a succession of wet sounding coughs.

 

“Woah, mate, you alright?” Sirius leaped out of his chair and headed over to the other boy, overwhelmed with concern and the beginning of some deeper, darker feeling he couldn't quite place.

 

“Yeah… I’m fine.” Remus wheezed, shooing Sirius back to his seat.

 

“That was a strangely appropriate response, actually.” He let out a small, humorless laugh.

 

“... how is that?” Sirius asked slowly. The feeling was growing, steadily. Like an object in the horizon advancing over a hill. He could feel it coming but he still couldn’t see it, and Sirius didn’t like being kept in the dark.

 

“You want to know why I’m really here, right?” Remus asked bitterly, looking anywhere but Sirius,  tugging self-consciously at his sleeves.

 

For the first time Sirius wondered why he was wearing such a thick sweater indoors, was Remus that cold?

 

“Yeah… I mean, if you don’t mind telling me, that is.” Sirius added quickly, wondering for the first time if he really wanted to know.

 

“I’m a patient.” Remus responded with a grimace.

 

“Well I figured that much, darling.” Sirius attempted a smile, trying for light-hearted and failing.

 

The expression on Remus’s face grew more pained. 

 

The unnamed feeling in Sirius’s stomach was growing so large he could feel it coiling around his heart like a noose.

 

“I’m… a chronic patient.” Remus choked out.

 

Right in that moment Sirius realized he really didn’t want to know what was wrong with Remus, actually. 

 

It’s all fun when it’s some big unknown secret, it’s all a game when it’s just another mystery for Sirius to solve, just another adventure; but he was beginning to feel as if he’d stumbled upon something bigger than intended- like when you’re a kid and you first start to realize life is bigger than just you and you want desperately to go back to when things were simple, but you find yourself grasping for something that no longer exists, a comfort you unwittingly gave up and didn’t miss until it was no longer there.

 

As of right now Remus was a boy Sirius could date. They were going to hang out the rest of the night. Sirius might kiss him. They might meet up every week for coffee and grow to know each other so well Remus would become a fixture in his life just like James. They might get kicked out of the movies for throwing popcorn at strangers, or have Christmas at the Potters, or live together in a dingy flat, or become best friends; as of right now these were all still possibilities, potential futures glittering out of reach like stars.

 

But once Sirius knew what was wrong with Remus, once he really knew, there was no going back. Like a child reaching for the comfort of innocence, Sirius felt himself grasping back for the unknown- because there was still comfort, there was still the future, and ahead of him was darkness.

 

“I have to come in regularly because I’m always sick…” Remus added, he pushed up his sleeves for the first time and Sirius noticed a hospital bracelet was tied onto his thin wrist, “I was only in the emergency room because it’s the only place with enough people where I can hide from my nurses by blending into the crowd.” 

 

Remus sighed, and there was a brief moment before he spoke again where everything fell silent. 

 

The noose around Sirius’s heart tightened and he finally recognized the feeling in his chest, it was dread.

 

Then, as it has the tendency to do, the world started up again.

 

“I have cystic fibrosis.” Remus muttered quietly, “There’s no cure, and it’s going to kill me.”

 

“....oh,” said Sirius softly, “That’s-”

 

Before he could finish what was sure to be an eloquent and sufficiently somber response, he was drowned out by the sound of a bellowing James Potter racing through the Cafeteria.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James needs a hero, Sirius is happy to oblige- as long as he doesn't get too distracted first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how late this update has been (especially with how sad I left off the previous chapter- I'm cruel, I know) hopefully I included enough in here to lift your spirits. Thanks to all who have read and continue to read <3 now that it's summer break I /should/ be able to update more. Feel free to pester me if I take too long- you guys keep me on my game.  
> xoxo Kelsey

James Potter is many things. He is the most loyal friend you could ever imagine, he is the mother hen of Sirius and their whole band of merry misfits, he’s a son, a leader, potentially a world-champion curry eater- and right at this moment, he is very, very naked.

James ran past Sirius and Remus with a backwards hospital robe trailing behind him like some absurd cape, his brown butt racing past inches from Sirius’s nose while the only coherent thought he could muster in regards to the situation was surprise that his best friend had seemed to forget every article of clothing aside from his shoes.

 

“What… was that?” Remus said slowly, blinking in shock. as he looked past Sirius at the spot the infamous arse of James Potter had last been seen in all it’s toned glory.

“My best friend’s butt.” Sirius said slowly, also staring in shock at the now empty corridor.

Moments later two nurses ran by, one carrying what looked like a syringe of something unpleasant.

“Needles!” Sirius stood up abruptly, eyes flashing. He knew that- aside from his tough exterior and usual disregard for personal safety- James’s one downfall was that he was terrified of needles. No wonder the man had ran screaming through the hospital, Sirius would have too if he woke up after a drunken stupor to find himself stark naked in a strange hospital staring down his greatest fear.

“Needles..?” Remus inquired, looking up at Sirius like he’d gone mad. Sirius noted that Remus had a bit of chocolate smeared on his left cheek, and it was adorable and he wanted to lick it off, but now was not the time for seductive chocolate licking- or thinking in general (a decision that had nothing to do with what Remus has told him moments earlier, nope)- now was the time for action.

He grabbed Remus’s hand, still mesmerized by it’s warmth and softness, pulling him to his feet and starting off in the direction James had fled.

“Once more, into the breach!” He shouted playfully behind him, picking up the pace as he randomly made his way through the maze of halls that dared to call itself a hospital.

“What- wow-” Remus began before Sirius bounded over the legs of a sleeping med student, “Oh my god… you’re dangerous, Black. What exactly- shit!” Remus yanked on Sirius’s arm and pulled him off into one of the unoccupied patient rooms and closed the door, leaving them completely in the dark.

Sirius yelped and pulled his arm away from Remus’s death grip. “What’s the matter, Lupin, why’d you nearly amputate me again?” He rubbed his shoulder sullenly and glared in Remus’s direction, before realizing his stares lost their potency in the dark. Alas, life is cruel.

“Shh.., shut up, would you?” Remus whispered angrily, still crouched near the small panel of glass on the door that allowed you to see into the bustling hallway.

His tone got Sirius’s attention and he joined him in crouching near the door.

After a few seconds of silence Sirius’s curiosity got the best of him.

“What… is it, we are looking at exactly…?” He whispered quietly, not wanting to set Remus off. He was staring out the small window intently, his brow furrowed so deep it looked painful. He was so focused Sirius actually wondered if he even heard his question.

“Remus-”

“Hush.”

Sirius crossed his arms and sulked, starting to get peeved at the lack of adventure being had in this dark room. There were so many possibilities, there was even a bed in the corner. A bed he could have Remus on right now- preferably naked. Instead it looked like Remus would sooner fuck the window.

Before Sirius could take another breath, Remus finally turned away from the window and had the grace to look slightly apologetic.

“Sorry… for hushing you, I saw my nurse.” Through the darkness he vaguely saw the upturn of Remus’s lips in an attempt at a smile which quickly failed, it made his heart ache. He wanted to hug this strange boy in his ragged jumper until a real smile graced his lips, then kiss those lips.

Instead of vocalizing any of this, however; he just settled with an eloquent “Oh.”

“Yeah… oh.” Remus replied, nodding sagely. “She had my err… my mum with her, too.”

Fuck, he looked so sad. Now Sirius really wanted to comfort him.

“Uh-oh.” He said instead. Smooth, Black. Real smooth.

“Yup…” Remus sighed, running his hands through his hair in exasperation and turning away from the door to pace the room nervously.

Sirius let him pace for awhile, not quite sure what to make of the situation. The feeling to hug Remus grew even stronger, especially after he let out another cough that sounded equal parts painful and pitiful- causing him to double over and place his hands on his knees.

Sirius rushed over and patted the boy on the back nervously, aiming for “comforting” but not quite sure how to get there. He hadn't been around someone sick, really sick not just hangover sick, since he was a child with his younger brother. Granted, he hadn't seen his brother in years since he effectively cut ties with his family and- no, nope. That is painful. That train of thought is getting thoroughly slam dunked into the “to be addressed later/never” pile accumulating in his brain.

“I’m sorry…” Remus wheezed out, briefly coughing again. Sirius’s heart squeezed uncomfortably. “Here you are aiming for an adventurous first date running through a hospital in the wee hours of the morning and you’re stuck with- urgh that last cough really made my mouth taste gross- stuck with…” He sighed and straightened up, looking anywhere but at Sirius.

“Stuck with the boy who has the best music taste in this whole bloody building?” Sirius offered.

Remus smirked and laughed dryly, “No, stuck with-”

Sirius interrupted him before he could finish what was surely a self deprecating train of thought, “The only boy who could make a jumper that old look so damn sexy?” He flashed back a winning smirk of his own. That smirk could move mountains, light cities, inspire artists, and hopefully woo Remus Lupin.

Remus gave out a genuine chuckle, “Damn it, Black, no let me finish-”

Sirius was on a roll now and he wasn't stopping anytime soon, “A boy who can eat more chocolate than anyone I know? The only boy brave enough to stare down a complete stranger in an emergency room? The only one kind enough to give a knob like me a second chance? With a wit that could make me swoon if I was prone to such things? Who-” He was stopped by Remus’s finger being placed against his lips, the other boy was laughing silently. He was briefly thankful for the near darkness as the mere touch of Remus had him blushing furiously.

“You’re too much.” Remus said, but the look on his face was a happy one.

Sirius smiled, surprised by how much seeing Remus happy made him feel similarly.

“So I've been told.” He murmured quietly, Remus’s finger still placed gently on his lips.

“Oh, right, sorry.” Remus replied, moving his finger away from his lips. As he did so he traced his index finger down Sirius’s jawline slowly, the unexpected contact drawing out a gasp from Sirius’s throat.

Remus quirked a single eyebrow, as if to ask if Sirius liked it- which he did, very much so. Remus reached his left hand up to entwine in Sirius’s hair as his right moved slowly down the side of his face to grip his chin and lift it up, Sirius became acutely aware of how much taller the other boy was. Remus took a few steps forward until his face was barely an inch away from his. It took every ounce of willpower Sirius had not to whine, nearly brought to his knees as Remus looked directly into his eyes- his mouth parted slightly, before glancing down at Sirius’s own lips.

“Is this okay?” Remus whispered, moving even closer until all Sirius could smell and feel was Remus, his small, soft breaths and warm hands.

“Definitely.” Sirius whispered back, his own voice hoarse in his ears and strained with wanting.

Remus let out his own gasp then, before quickly closing the gap between them and pressing his own lips to his. Sirius let out a moan, enraptured by the feel of Remus’s mouth on his- his hands further tangled in his hair, their bodies pressed together in the darkness. He brought his own hands up around Remus’s neck, pressing them further together and deepening the kiss. Remus moaned into his mouth and Sirius responded in kind, their hands began to roam over each other’s bodies as the kiss extended itself- alternating between quick, shallow pecks and slow, deep kisses as they got to know each other’s rhythms, quickly adapting to the other.

They broke away after what felt like an eternity, breathing heavily, lips stained pink from use and cheeks flushed with exertion.

“That was…” Sirius began.

“Fucking aces.” Remus finished.

Sirius smiled, head feeling light with happiness, “Yeah”, he chuckled, “definitely.”

“Shouldn't we, uh..” Remus gulped, appearing a bit flustered, “find your naked friend?” he asked, vainly trying to straighten out his mussed hair, Sirius was pleased to see he’d had such an  effect.

“My naked who?” Sirius replied, distracted by his own thoughts on how they could be spending the next hour or two.

“Your friend? The one bloke who ran completely nude through the caf? Nurses chasing him an all?”

“Naked? who would- oh shit.” He blinked as his sense of urgency flooded back, he remembered why they’d been running through the hospital in the first place. James. Naked. Needles. Grand escape. Rescue Mission. Fuck.

“Fuck!” He shouted aloud, grabbing Remus’s hand for the third time that day before pushing the door open, nearly knocking over an unsuspecting old women in a walker, before heading off in whatever direction seemed fitting.

“What’s the plan exactly?” Remus shouted, keeping up with Sirius much better than the previous two times he’d raced off without consulting him first.

“The plan, darling?” Remus sighed but Sirius chose to ignore him, “The plan is to have an adventure.” He smiled, feeling briefly like a hero from some sort of fantasy novel.

Don’t worry James. Jamesy James James, he thought. I’m comin’ for ya.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is naked and afraid  
> Sirius is fashionably dressed and ecstatic  
> Remus is wearing his dad's old sweater and doesn't know what to think, at this point
> 
> See how Remus and Sirius manage to rescue James with nothing more than a bobby pin and some good ol' fashioned marauders ingenuity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why this is so late, other than that I work two jobs and go to school full-time and life is just wild like that- ya know? But it's summer and I graduated recently (hallelujah) so I'm tying up these loose ends now that I have free time for the first time... ever, actually. 
> 
> There is only one more chapter of this fic and then it will be complete. I've also already started it so the last update won't be grievously long. Many apologies to all I left hanging, but thank you for the lovely comments because it was knowing I had received such positive responses that made me come back to this after such a long absence in the first place. xoxo

Where the  _fuck_ is Sirius Black?

This was a question James had found himself asking at numerous other pivotal moments in his life. Like the time he was the only one caught after they flooded the third floor bathroom (Sirius's idea), the time his parents came home a bit too early from a weekend getaway and caught James asleep amidst the wreckage of an impromptu house party (also Sirius's idea), or the time he hit on Lily Evan's at the bars and got clocked in the nose (Okay, that one was his fault). Now though, now he had somehow found his way into what is either an illegal facility hell bent on conducting painful experiments on his young, handsome body, or he's in an hospital. Either way- he may not be certain where he is, but he's one hundred percent sure it's Sirius's fault.

After he lost the nurse James realized two things: he needed clothes, and this place was deceptively large. Meaning he was not only naked but lost, the only plus side being that if he managed to find some clothes and walk around confidently enough there was a chance (if this really was a hospital and not an illegal facility turning people into mutants) that he could leave completely unnoticed. 

He nicked some pants from the first room he saw as well as a couple granola bars with a few well placed kicks at a vending machine, and was now hiding out like some strange rodent in a shadowed corner of a relatively secluded hallway, munching away on the stale oat-and-honey flavored cardboard with all the energy he could muster given the fact he is either hungover or getting beat in the head by an invisible hammer. He gulped down the last dry bite before standing and wiping his pants, what to do now. Well, get a shirt, probably. Oh yeah, and find Sirius fucking Black somewhere and demand answers and potentially revenge. He reached in his pockets to grab his cell phone before remembering these aren't actually his pants, so he'll have to find Sirius on foot without the aid of technology like some kind of caveman. Fantastic. Now if he was Sirius Black, where would he be?

After a few quiet moments of introspection, James sighed heavily. He began to walk down the hall, grabbing a jacket sat alongside a sleeping resident and casually slinging it on before continuing to stride confidently down the hall, retracing his steps back to what he believed to be the central hub of the building.

If he knew Sirius, the only way to find him was to go where all the excitement is.

* * *

 

"Are these your friend's clothes?"

"Yes! Thank you! Bless you Lupin, you absolute treasure."

Sirius hugged James's clothes close to his chest, as if he could locate him through absorbing his essence through the fabric. Sirius found himself wishing (and not for the first time, if he was being honest) that he was a dog so he could track James by his scent, imagine how much time that would save.

Remus chuckled, "No problem. So, what's the next stage of this plan?"

Sirius smiled and raised his finger triumphantly to begin delving into the fine details of his rescue plan, before quickly deflating like a popped balloon.

"I... yeah, I've got nothing." He sighed, kicking absently at the wall with his boot while he tried to formulate a step past "find James's clothes at the nurse's station".

"Well... does he have a phone?" Remus suggested hopefully.

Sirius held up the phone he'd extracted from James's abandoned jeans, "Yeah, and we have it." Sirius picked up his pace, kicking scuff marks into the off-white walls.

"Shit." Remus muttered, putting his hands on his hips and angrily blowing his bangs out of his face, a gesture so adorable Sirius stopped kicking the wall like a delinquent so he could lean over and kiss Remus on the nose.

Remus blushed, which only made him prettier. What a doll.

"What was that for?" Remus asked.

"Lookin' good." Sirius answered with a shrug before resuming the incessant kicking.

Remus looked stunned for a few seconds before leaning over and kissing Sirius on the lips, now it was Sirius's turn to blush.

"Now what was _that_ for?" Sirius asked.

Remus smirked, "To get you to stop kicking the wall."

Sirius grinned sheepishly, "Ah, yeah, sorry about that- I'll stop."

"No problem. So where do you think you would go if you were thoroughly frightened, naked, and hungover?" Remus asked with a slight smile.

Sirius chuckled, "Well as that is my normal state of being, I can't say cause I would just go about my normal business. James on the other hand..." Sirius paused, brow furrowed in concentration, "James would want answers." Sirius finished.

"Answers?" Remus said.

Sirius nodded, "Answers. James is used to being in charge, the kid doesn't take well to being out of control. He's more than likely trying to find me..." Sirius gulped nervously before continuing, "And he also probably thinks this is somehow all my fault."

Remus cocked his head to the side, a quizzical expression on his face, "Why would this be your fault?"

"Ah, well, you know..." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I might be a bit of an, uh... troublemaker, I guess?"

Remus snorted, "And James isn't?"

"Oh no he totally is," Sirius amended, "But I'm like, king troublemaker."

"King troublemaker?"

"You're right, that's too authoritarian. I'm more like president troublemaker. My trouble-making resides in a democratic society."

Remus was silent for a few seconds before bursting into peals of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked, hoping he hadn't said something (too) stupid.

Remus paused, wiping his eyes before grabbing Sirius's hand and leading him off down the hall. "You, Sirius. You're what's funny." He answered, with a smile that made Sirius's heart preform a weird acrobatics routine in his chest.

Sirius shot back a grin of his own, Remus's hands were deceptively soft and warm, not at all sweaty and calloused like Sirius's own hands. Remus had the hands of an artist, his hands were made for delicate things. Sirius's hands were nothing but tools, rough and worn and dirty more than they were ever clean. Sirius didn't think of that as a negative thing though, if anything it proved that he and Remus were complementary. He tightened his grip and felt his heart warm when Remus gave his hand a comforting squeeze back.

"Aren't I the one who is supposed to do all the hand-holding and running through a hospital thing?" Sirius mused, earning a chuckle from Remus.

"You were, and now its my turn to lead. Consider it character development." Remus said.

"Alright, new leading man, where are we going then?"

Remus gave him a smile that could only be described as thoroughly wicked, "You'll see."

* * *

Sirius wasn't in the cafeteria, he wasn't in the waiting room, he wasn't bloody anywhere in this godforsaken building, and James was about one more run in with a potentially diseased elderly person away from tearing his gorgeous hair out.

"Sirius. Motherfucking. Black." He muttered to himself for the billionth time as he stalked through the halls of this maze of a hospital, it had become like a mantra. Like if he said Sirius's name enough he'd materialize out of thin air and free James from his suffering.

He stopped for a bit to slump against the wall in what would be considered defeat if he wasn't James Potter, he was considering this nothing more than inactive searching. He just needed to recuperate, is all. It had been a long day, okay?

He really didn't blame Sirius, either. He tried not to think about how dirty the floor was as he sat and watched the fluorescent lights flicker above him weakly, he heaved a heavy sigh. No, no, this was definitely his own fault and he knew it. It was easier to be angry at Sirius than face his own shame at getting his ass kicked in a bar fight, but if anything maybe this horrible situation was some sort of divine punishment sent down to smite his arrogant ass. He brought his knees up, crossing his arms and letting his head hang heavily in the crook of an elbow. The jacket he stole smelled like hospital food and cigarette smoke.

"I'm sorry, okay?" He muttered weakly into the jacket. This was his life now, confessing to stolen clothing on the floor of a hospital.

"I promise to clean my act up if you just let me out of this shithole." He mumbled, inwardly cringing at how pathetic his voice sounded. "Please, any and all gods that may be listening-" He paused, "Actually, any and all gods and goddesses, I'm seeking equal opportunity salvation here." 

He waited, willing himself to sink into the floor before the hospital PA system crackled to life above his head and startled him from his shameful reverie. 

"Oh, er- is this thing on? Oh, oh! It is. Will, uh, will- what's his name again? Yes, will a James Potter please come to the third floor, room 302. I repeat will a James Potter please come to room 302 on the third-"

The mysterious speaker voice was interrupted by another voice that was all too familiar.

"I'm sorry James, you handsome devil! Hurry up and find us so we can leave. Kisses and all that, peace!" 

The speaker turned off with a decisive click, and James stared blankly ahead for a few seconds- startled by his own luck.

"Sirius. Motherfucking. Black." He muttered again, but this time with reverence. "My knight in shining leather."

James stood up and dashed down the hall, mentally sending out a silent thanks to no one in particular.

 

* * *

 

Remus watched as Sirius giddily bounced up and down on his feet, a smile plastered across his sleep-worn face as he eagerly looked up and down the hall searching for his naked best mate. It was cute, everything about Sirius was cute. His enthusiasm, his devotion, his quick wit and the easy way he had brought Remus into his life. Never before had Remus met someone so utterly strange, but never before had Remus ever immediately liked someone so thoroughly. It wasn't that Remus was necessarily shy or some sort of buzzkill, but living a life with chronic illness meant that every aspect of his life had to be regulated or he could easily die. Out of necessity Remus had become reserved, annoyingly responsible, and old beyond his years. He could never go to bars, or to parties, eat junk food or be spontaneous. He could never be like Sirius.

Everything that had happened tonight was like a fantasy of Remus's come to life. Remus had read a lot of books and knew that each story essentially started with one of two plot lines: "A stranger comes to town" or "someone goes on a trip". Remus had often sat up in his hospital bed, longing to go on a trip. Even more often he had sat up longing for someone to come and take him there, he just wanted to be human. Right now he felt like he was living the life of a dead person, or some quarantined monster.

He reached out and grabbed Sirius's hand, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Sirius grinned, cupping Remus's face in his hand and giving a kiss of his own with vigor.

"You're pretty amazing, you know that? Your idea was genius," Sirius said, "Plus any boy who can pick a lock is automatically my soulmate in my book, especially one who can do it with a bobby pin."

Remus gave the best smile he could, not wanting to let on to what was about to happen.

"Thanks, I think you're amazing too." He responded. "Plus you try growing up locked up in your room all the time and see how long it takes for you to take up lock-picking."

Sirius expression darkened and his smile quickly left his face, "Your parents locked you up in your room, too?"

Remus's own smile faltered, "I mean... yeah, especially when I was younger I needed to be quarantined a lot, I was getting such frequent lung infections. It wasn't malicious or anything. Did your parents lock you up? He asked, wondering what kind of parents would lock a perfectly healthy young boy up in his room enough to cause the look of pure malice adorning Sirius's face. Before Remus could receive an answer, Sirius was swept up into a bear hug by someone he could only assume was the infamous James Potter. 

"Sirius, you absolute madman!" James muttered, hugging Sirius like he wanted to absorb him into his skin and become one being. Remus briefly questioned whether they were really best friends or lovers, because that level of intense affection seemed abnormal. Or maybe it was just utterly foreign to him, there was no telling.

"James, my love!" Sirius answered, clinging onto him with equal desperation.

No, no... their relationship is definitely a bit strange. Remus thought as he watched the melodramatic display continue.

"Want me to let you two get a room?" Remus asked, after about a solid minute of watching them hug.

James looked up, finally breaking the contact with Sirius to offer a hand to Remus to shake.

"Sorry mate, who are you?" James said, an easy smile gracing his lips. The man really was unnervingly handsome.

"I'm Remus." Remus said, shaking the hand gladly.

"Remus is amazing, James!" Sirius said, slinging a casual arm over Remus's shoulder and pulling him in close, "I met him in the waiting room and we almost got into a row, but then instead we ran through a hospital and he helped orchestrate your whole escape! The lad is a genius, you have no idea, a true marauder if I've ever met one."

James looked back and forth between the two, and Remus couldn't help but blush under his critical gaze. He could see why a guy like James was used to being in charge, even in baggy clothes (Remus could only assume were stolen from some unwitting hospital patient) James held himself with an easy confidence that Remus envied immensely.

"You cheating on me Sirius?" James asked, after a few more moments of sizing up Remus.

Sirius shrugged, tightening his arm around Remus. "You know you're always number one baby- but a man has needs."

James nodded solemnly, as if that was a perfectly normal response, before turning to aggressively point at Remus. Remus tried not to flinch, wondering if he really was about to get accused of being the other man by a bloke who'd just spent the past two hours sneaking through a hospital in stolen clothes after a bar fight.

"You, my man, "James begun, voice utterly serious, "have saved my life this day. So I'll forgive the infidelity." He lowered his finger and Remus let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding, this was the weirdest date of his life.

"Now let's get out of here and go home so I can shower off this entire night." James said, finishing the statement with a shiver of disgust.

"Alright mate." Sirius responded, grinning and turning to Remus expectantly, "What do you say, Remus? Go for broke, come with us."

Remus felt about an inch tall as he shook his head no, Sirius's face crumpling into a mask of pure sadness before Remus can even get a word out.

"Sirius I-" He began, before a shout rang through the hall and he knew that his life was now completely over.

"REMUS JOHN LUPIN."

James and Sirius looked up, twin masks of shock. It would almost be funny it it wasn't so utterly mortifying.

"Hey... mum." Remus muttered weakly, turning around to face the pure source of rage that was his mother. He'd counted on at least a minute for explanation before she'd manage to storm her way up there, but he'd obviously not accounted for how upset she'd be. Hell hath no fury, and all that.

"Hey? HEY? I get called up in the middle of the night because you have been missing for HOURS and all you have to say to me is HEY?"

Remus blinked, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't make things worse.

"Err... I love you?" He responded, voice squeaking a bit at the end.

His mom's eye twitched and he watched her deflate a bit, guilt eating away at his insides as he realized her eyes were red and bleary with what must have been tears due to worrying on his behalf. 

"Mum, I'm sorry, really." He amended, looking down at his shoes.

"I don't think sorry is enough this time, Remus." She said, with surprising weariness, bringing her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose in a perfect show of exasperation. "I can't trust you anymore. Normally we find you within the hour but even then, you can't constantly give your nurses trouble like this. Don't you know we are just trying to keep you safe? Don't you want to be safe?"

Remus wished for nothing more than to disappear, his whole life was a mistake. This is hell. God, why is he such a prat? He began to spit out another weakly mumbled apology before Sirius stepped forward and opened his beautiful, amazing, stupid mouth.

"It's my fault, Mrs. Lupin. I dragged him around the hospital all night looking for my friend... Remus was just trying to help, he wanted to leave but I was such a mess he felt obligated to help me." Sirius said in a rush, cheeks tinged red with nerves.

Oh shit, here we go. Remus thought to himself. He had hoped that at best his mom would not notice Sirius was there, being too intent on the sickly disappointment that is her only son. At worst, she would drag Remus into his room and tell the other boys to get lost, leaving Remus without a proper goodbye but at least devoid of a major explosion. He had not, however; thought in a million years Sirius would pick an even worse  _third_ option and engage his mother directly. Now Remus would be lucky if all three of them survived this incident intact.

"You're the one who dragged my son through a hospital all night, _you_?" Mrs. Lupin whipped around and pointed a finger at Sirius like a weapon, and he at least had the wherewithal to look scared as he backed up into the wall. " You in your, your _leather jacket_ with cigarettes sticking out the front, a black eye, and matted **_greasy hair_**?" She finished with a shout.

Sirius stuttered, obviously at a loss for words.

"I, uh, uh, I mean- the cigarettes aren't mine they're for a friend but-" He replied, nervously wringing his hands and looking anywhere but at Mrs. Lupin's face.

"Do you know what smoking around my son would even **DO**?" She yelled, looking like she'd love nothing more than to throw Sirius out of the nearby window.

"Mum, please! he didn't do anything!" Remus reached forward and stood in front of Sirius, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I went with him willingly he's just trying to get me off the hook is all- and no one was smoking."

Now it's her turn to sputter, a look of utter shock etched over her once furious face. "Is this what you do when I'm gone, Remus? You get involved with people, people like THIS and try to get yourself killed?"

"No," Remus responded- sarcasm leaking into his voice- "typically I sit around doing nothing wishing I would die because my life is nothing but a continuous string of hospital visits, and today Sirius made me feel for the first time in years that I might actually be capable of having fun once every once in awhile and look! I'm not dead am I?" Remus finished with a flourish, brandishing his arms wildly and belatedly realizing his voice had also risen to a shout. 

His mom looked at him like he was some alien creature that replaced her quiet, unobtrusive son and she wanted nothing more than to squash it.

"You are going in your room, and you will not leave until tomorrow morning where we will take you home. You aren't allowed to go anywhere unless it is under direct supervision until further notice." She said, voice dangerously quiet.

Remus felt as if the world was spiraling away from him as he contemplated the meaning behind her words. A world with no freedom, no privacy, no chance of adventure, spontaneity- no chance of Sirius. A world with worse than nothing, a world with nothing but constantly being reminded of his sickness.

"You... You can't be serious." He said, feeling his own face contort into a mask of disbelief.

"I know you think I'm being harsh, but I'd rather you hate me than be dead." She said, voice betraying no sense of emotion, "Until I can trust you again, this discussion is over."

"That won't be living!" Remus found himself shouting in desperation, "You might as well kill me at that rate!"

Despite his outburst she doesn't turn towards Remus at all, instead walking over to where James and Sirius stood watching the whole embarrassing spectacle in open-mouthed horror.

"Leave." She said to the two, voice sharp enough to cut steel.

Sirius looked past her to stare at Remus, his eyes so sad it made Remus's heart break.

"Remus I-" Sirius began.

" _NOW."_ Mrs. Lupin shouted, and Remus's nurse grabbed the two boys arms in order to better escort them out of the building, Sirius shook his arm angrily and attempted to shove the nurse off.

"Watch the goods, lady! This jacket is worth more than you make in a night!" Sirius shouted.

"I don't doubt that." Said the haggard nurse, her voice completely unaffected by Sirius's dramatics.

"C'mon Sirius," James said, his voice immediately stopping Sirius mid-rage spiral, "We aren't welcome here, she's just doing her job, it's nearly 7 AM- cut your losses, mate." He said, voice sympathetic.

Sirius's face fell, and he once again looked at Remus, but after a few beats his look of sadness dissipated- replaced by a look of utter determination.

"I'm gonna see you again, pretty boy." Sirius said, pointing a single finger at Remus. "Mark my words, this date isn't over!"

Remus smiled, despite the sinking feeling in his chest over his life sentence of at-home imprisonment.

"Of course it isn't, you promised me the best date of my life, remember?" He responded, and watching the way Sirius's eyes lit up as the nurse marched him away was worth every second of intense grilling he knew he was going to receive from his mother once the two of them were alone.

* * *

 

Remus knew that every story began one of two ways: either a stranger comes to town, or someone goes on a trip. He was lucky enough that his stranger had finally come, and his name was Sirius. He sat up in his room at home and glanced out the window, absentmindedly turning over a book on his hands.

Now Remus could only wait and hope that like any great story, even a monster like him could have a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue jokes about Remus being a princess in the castle waiting for Sirius to save him here* sue me, I think it's cute and I'm only human. Will Sirius find Remus? Will they finish their date? Will Remus and his mother have an honest discussion about how Remus wants to live his life? (sickly as it is) Will James make another appearance because I love him and have no self control? 
> 
> WHO KNOWS (I do) but read the next (and final) chapter to find out!
> 
> peace ~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sirius do some social media recon, Remus waits (mostly) patiently. There is definitely a finished date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW IT IS ACTUALLY DONE??  
> my new year's resolution is to write more... and never take this long again. Although it is interesting to see my writing style develop (and by that I mean improve) over the chapters.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me until the end babes xx

Sirius sat cross-legged on the floor of James's room and angrily stubbed out his third cigarette of the day into the elephant shaped ash tray Peter had gotten him for a birthday present, watching the last of the smoke spiral off the poor elephant's indented backside. He sighed, falling back onto the makeshift bed sprawled out behind him. He glanced up to see James in the same position he'd been an hour ago, dead asleep in bed hideously snoring. It looked as if James was real close to inhaling a lock of his own hair, or choke on his drool. He had one pillow in between his legs and another snuggled up to his chest lovingly, what a guy.

As soon as they'd left the hospital they had gone straight back to James's parent's house, where James lived and Sirius basically lived. After an hour or so of epic hospital escape story rehashing James had passed out and Sirius had a feeling absolutely nothing would be able to wake sleeping beauty up until he'd had his allotted 8 hours. Sirius on the other hand, found it impossible to sleep. How the fuck was he supposed to sleep when he knew Remus Lupin was out there? Remus with his soft hands, witty sense of humor, gorgeous smile, and awfully lame fashion sense? How could one sleep knowing their potential SOULMATE has been whisked away to suffer, date unfinished, questions unanswered, lips not  _nearly_ kissed enough?

Sirius heaved another huge sigh, swinging his arm over his eyes to blot out the light of the impatient sun- that continued to rise and shine despite the fact Remus and Sirius weren't together, which seemed utterly ridiculous.

"I'm being quite melodramatic, aren't I?" Sirius spoke aloud to himself, usually it was James's job to tell Sirius this but as he was incapacitated at the moment some self-soothing was in order for the time being, "Yes. Yes I am." Sirius answered himself, mind unwillingly being dragged into unconsciousness the longer he sat with his arm draped over himself to block out the light.

"I need... I need to find Remus..." Sirius muttered quietly, feeling his head sink into the sudden overwhelming softness of the pillows enveloping his head,  "But maybe..." He yawned, "After... a nap..."

"DUDE wake the FUCK up!" 

Sirius sat bolt upright at the sudden shock of being screamed at, uncertain about the day, time, location... okay, uncertain about everything at all.

"I- who? What! I'm up!" He shouted, blinking rapidly as his eyes readjusted to the waning sunlight. Waning sunlight? Had he slept  _all day?_

"Sirius!" The shouting voice he now recognized as James stumbled out of the adjacent bed and down onto Sirius's cozy patch of floor, James clutched his shoulders and began to shake him and Sirius's half-asleep brain registered the lines of panic etched into his best friend's face, "Sirius, Sirius! We slept all day!" James shouted, as if he was trying to communicate with Sirius from across the room despite being only a few inches from his face.

"We... slept all day." Sirius commented, brain still sluggishly trying to reconnect as he tried to decipher the meaning behind these words.

"We slept all day." James repeated, finally letting go of Sirius's shoulders.

"We... slept... all... day. We slept... all day." Sirius said slowly, James nodding along as he allowed Sirius to reason out the situation himself,"We slept all... day. We slept, we slept, all day? We slept ALL DAY?" Sirius finally shouted, "Dude, all day! But Remus-"

James nodded enthusiastically, "EXACTLY!" He said, shoving clothes at Sirius, "You said you'd reach him! Well, not exactly those words but you implied! We still don't know where the man lives, you have some footwork to do my friend and you've already wasted an entirely good day."

"Wasted? I only slept cause you slept first! At least I didn't slobber all over my damn pillow." Sirius said.

"Tosser." James muttered, before shoving the slobbery pillow directly in Sirius's face to muffle his complaints, "Either way you still need to get off your ass and find him, so go! Go before I change my mind and decide I want you all to myself!"

"Thanks mate, how generous." Sirius said with a grin, before picking up the pile of proffered clothes and making his way to the bathroom to freshen up.

"And don't you forget it! And use the nice shampoo, you stink!" He heard James say, as he clicked the bedroom door shut behind himself and made his way over to the bathroom.

"Well... here I come Remus." Sirius said as he stepped into the shower and turned on the water just the way he liked it, scalding hot. Curious, he raised his arm and give his pits a big whiff- quickly recoiling with a gag as he realized James was certainly right: he did stink.

He might need to use more than just the nice shampoo.

* * *

 "Remus! Come downstairs, it's time for dinner!"

A whole day had gone by. A whole entire day, Remus thought, and he had yet to hear even a little from Sirius. Not that Sirius had given him a time frame, or said how he'd contact him- but still. A whole day? When social media exists? That's essentially forever.

Remus sighed and rolled over onto his stomach, chin pressing uncomfortably into his pillow as be gave his smartphone screen another swipe to check that yes, he still had no new notifications. He'd been spending the day swaddled in a blanket cocoon on the cushioned window seat his dad had built for him one summer so he could read inside and feel a bit like he was outside, it was Remus's favorite spot in the whole house. The window itself was impressive in size and their backyard was spacious, living out in the country sucked for a multitude of reasons but the view was not one of them. Remus stared outside sullenly, watching the last sliver of the sun waver on the horizon and wink out of existence. He reached forward and grabbed the cord tying back his curtains and yanked it closed angrily, ensconcing himself in total darkness in what he fully recognized was a self-indulgent act of pity.

"I'm so pathetic." He murmured quietly into his hypoallergenic pillow that smelled of nothing. His mom was afraid that fragrances in detergent might exacerbate his coughing. His mom was afraid of everything. To be fair to her, however, perfumes and strong fragrances did tend to make Remus nauseous, he couldn't use regular men's body wash for exactly that reason, and also because Remus felt morally opposed to most body wash marketing ploys centered around attracting women to you like a moth to a flame type deal. Like any woman really wants a man who smells like a high school locker room? Please.

"Remus honey, do you need me to bring dinner up to you?" He heard his mom shout, enough concern entering her voice to light Remus's self-loathing anew. Despite the fact he was currently very upset about being indefinitely holed up indoors, he knew how much his mom loved him and he didn't want to cause her any additional stress that his existence didn't already guarantee. Sometimes he wondered if his parent's lives would be better without him, they'd certainly be easier. He'd never say this to his mom, he could only imagine how much that would upset her, but he couldn't help thinking it. Remus wasn't the type of person who wanted to be of concern to anyone, it was unfair he'd been cursed with such a stupid illness. If it wasn't for that he feel he would be a model son, the only thing his parents would worry about was what college he'd attend or how little he enjoyed sports. Maybe they'd even have had another kid, who knows? If their first hadn't been the most complicated baby in existence they could have a huge, happy family. A huge, happy family without him.

There was a sudden knock on the door loud enough to startle Remus out of his shame spiral, he buried his face further into his pillow. He hated thinking this way almost as much as he hated living like this, he knew it wasn't helpful. Life is what it is, he is what he is, his parents love him; why wasn't that enough?

He heard the click of his door that meant his mom was entering his room, and reflexively pulled the covers up over his head. He knew he was acting like a child, but right now he felt like a child. There was a burning behind his eyes that meant tears were imminent, and he didn't want to upset his mother anymore, he couldn't let her see him like this.

"Remus..." his mother said softly, he could hear her setting a tray of food down by his bedside table before she came to sit next to him on the window seat. He felt her hand reach forward and pull the blankets back, tucking a strand of wayward hair behind his ear. Even having her nearby was such an immediate comfort, a comfort he didn't feel he possibly deserved.

"Remus are you okay? I feel as if lately, well, as if lately there are things you are hiding from me. You used to share everything with me, and I know part of it is that you're growing up and no longer want to share every aspect of your life with your mother; but I also feel as if there is something else going on here. All this acting out lately, it just isn't your personality. So why? Why keep running away? What can your father and I do so you don't feel the need to act this way?"

Remus heard his mother sigh as she shifted her weight next to him, still stroking the back of his head lovingly.

"We don't just want you to be safe, Remus. We want you... we want you to be happy, okay honey? We really do, and I'm sorry if it doesn't feel that way to you." He felt her finally stand up, she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek and the tears that had been threatening to spill out finally did. He made sure to keep his face firmly buried in the pillow, he hated anyone seeing him cry. With one last pat on the head his mother exited, and once Remus was sure she was no longer in hearing distance he sat upright, face sticky and feverish from being buried in pillows and blankets all day. He rubbed his eyes and made his way over to where the tray of food sat, solemnly eating his meal without tasting much.

Well... his mother had said as much as she could to quell his fears, so why did he still feel so empty? So far away from her? Wasn't the door open now, the ball in his court? All he had to explain to her was sickness be damned, he wanted to live life a little more. He  _needed_ to live life a little more. Why was he still so scared to talk to her?

As he went through the routine of eating he grew more and more despondent, he couldn't help but wonder if someone else was fundamentally wrong with him, to make him act so difficult. 

Why was he so afraid to live his own life?

* * *

 "His last name was Lupin, right?

"Yeah, Lupin. L-U-P-I-N I think that's how it's spelled."

Sirius was sitting with James side by side on his twin-sized bed, James had yet to leave it and was wearing the comforter swaddled around his waist much the same way Sirius was wearing his towel from out of the shower.

"Well alright..." James said slowly as he typed the name "Remus Lupin" into the Facebook search bar, clicking send with a dramatic flourish of his hand, "Now we just have to wait a minute or so for the wifi to connect. Is there a reason you aren't getting dressed?"

Sirius scoffed, "Is there a reason you are dressed? I thought we were mates."

James shrugged, "Fair 'nuff I suppose, oh! Looky here we have a mutual friend with one Remus John Lupin it's- Peter Pettigrew?!" James blinked a few times, pushing his glasses up as far as they could go on his nose before leaning forward towards his computer screen to confirm that yes, Peter was friends with Remus.

"Peter?" Sirius asked incredulously, grabbing the laptop away from James and clicking rapid-fire on Remus's profile, "Like our Peter? With  _my_ Remus?"

"Well he's hardly yours, you just met." James said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender when Sirius sent him a particularly withering glare, "I'm just sayin'!"

Sirius couldn't summon up the energy for a pithy remark, cause with the slow loading time of their shitty wifi he was slowly having the glorious Facebook profile of HIS Remus revealed to him.

"Oh, James, look! He has a photo album just for his pets! What a babe..." Sirius sighed, scrolling through Remus's wall. Just as he suspected it was 90% posts other people had tagged him in, he had totally pegged Remus as the type who only updated their status once a year or something ridiculous. Luckily however Remus seemed to enjoy taking photos, not of himself necessarily but everything around him. Sirius felt like he was viewing the world through Remus's eyes, would Remus take photos of him, he wondered? Would he have his own album?

"Quit drooling all over my screen dude, just send him a message!" James said, giving Sirius a small shove before standing up and shuffling to the door still clad in his comforter, "I'm gonna get some food, you better man up and say something to him by the time I get back!" He pointed at Sirius and raised a single eyebrow for emphasis, pausing for a few seconds in that pose before making his exit in the search for snacks.

Sirius rolled his eyes, and people said he was the drama queen in the relationship. He clicked on the icon to send Remus a message, feeling his mouth go dry as a wave of nerves overtook him. Shit, what should he even say?

Sirius sat there for the next ten or so minutes typing message after message, and immediately deleting every single one. 

"Hey there bb-" No... too informal

"Hey Remus, it's me, Sirius! You probably remember me from the hospital-" No, no, waaay too formal.

"Please marry me omg-" Alright he would never send that but he meant it.

"Ur so cute lmao. Fuck. why r words HARD." Sirius hit the backspace button as hard as he could until each letter disappeared, growling in frustration. He was never at a loss for words, he was Sirius fucking Black, what was  _wrong_ with him today?

"I have to give him... I have to give him the rest of his date." Sirius said to himself, and with that he knew exactly what he wanted to say to Remus. He quickly typed out his message and hit send before he had a chance to change his mind.

Now all that's left to do is play the waiting game.

* * *

Remus's hand reached forward instinctively to grab his phone as the familiar chime announcing a new notification resounded through his otherwise silent bedroom. He tried not to get his hopes up as he put on his glasses and blinked the bleariness of sleep out of his tired eyes, the last chime had been to announce a spam email and he expected this would be nothing more exciting than that.

"Message request from Sirius Black"

Remus squeaked as he dropped his phone on his face in surprise, he quickly fumbled in the dark as he searched around the bed for the fallen phone, bringing it up to his face and having to make three whole attempts to swipe the screen open before he managed to actually do so.

"Hey pretty boy, what's your address?" Read the message, and Remus felt himself start grinning like a maniac, his heart was pounding wildly and for once that was not a cause for concern. He typed out his address and hit send, before realizing he probably should have added on some sort of quip or whatever rather than just the basic information Sirius had requested. Crap.

"I'll be waiting in the tallest tower for you to carry me away on your motorcycle." Remus added, only slightly embarrassed to hear himself honest to god  _giggle_ as he awaited Sirius's reply.

"Alright, I'll be there with my boom box shortly."

Remus snorted, sending back a series of heart emojis that earned a wink and a kiss from Sirius.

Was he really about to do this? Sneak out of his window to meet a boy in the middle of the night? Go against every wish of his poor mother, the very thing that had just overwhelmed him with shame hours before? He thought about Sirius, and how it had felt to be with him. Even in the beginning when he was horribly rude to him, Remus had felt a strange sort of thrill- people aren't normally rude to the "poor, sick boy". In a way, Remus knew that his fascination with Sirius stemmed from an envious fascination of the life he lead, but it was more than that. Sirius was one of those rare people who exuded life, he was warm, and inviting, and  _fun._ Remus wanted to have fun.

He hopped out of bed and began to rummage through his closet for something proper to wear, after all this _was_ their very first date.

* * *

 Sirius was humming a tune to himself as he wound his way through some hideously unkempt country roads, expertly avoiding potholes and stray vegetation while speeding the fastest he felt comfortable going on an unknown road in the dark: which was still well over the legal speed limit. He'd managed to convince James to stay at home, after promising repeatedly that he would provide regular text updates and let him know both when he arrived and when he was heading back home. James was more of a mom than his real mom had ever been. 

It had been ten minutes and according to his GPS he was only halfway there, Remus really did live WAY out of town. Sirius forced himself to resist the urge to speed up, no matter how impatient he was it wouldn't do him or Remus any good if he died before reaching his destination.

A few more minutes passed by, he saw a herd of sheep look up at him with utter surprise, like they'd never seen a human being before. Was there such a thing as wild sheep? No way, right? Who'd shave their, what was it, fleece? Yeah, Sirius thought to himself, it was called fleece. God this was taking forever, he was going to go insane before he reached Remus.

"Oh, fuck it." He said to himself, hitting the gas and zooming past the now thoroughly startled sheep. Ten minutes until he'd reach his destination? Better make that five.

* * *

Remus sat on his bed, fully clothed in the dark, the only sounds the distant bleats of sheep and his own nervous fidgeting. He reached down and touched his own knee to stop his leg from jiggling, he heard once that people who fidget frequently tend to be skinnier, lankier individuals because they burned more calories even while sitting. He thought that sounded like bullshit, but sometimes he'd catch himself shaking his leg and playing with hands or tapping his pen and he'd remember hearing that. Was that his secret to such a trim figure? Excessive nerves?

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair- another nervous habit- before deciding to make himself sit at his window seat and read until Sirius got there, there was no point in sitting idle wasting his own time. Feeling slightly better after coming to a productive, mature decision he nodded decisively to himself and stood up, picking a book from his shelf at random and walking over to sit curled up like he had been all day. He flicked the bedside lamp he kept close by for late night reading and opened up the book, it was a book of poetry. Remus didn't particularly care for poetry.

"Why do I even have this book?" He muttered to himself as he read on, completely disinterested. Eventually his eyes began to glaze over and he closed the book angrily, it must have been a gift one of his misguided aunts gave him. The curse of loving books was people somehow thought that meant you loved  _all_ books, like personal preference wasn't a thing. Remus tossed the book aside, pulling out his phone to play tetris instead. screw productivity.

After a few minutes his phone buzzed, a notification. He exited out of his sorry excuse of a tetris game (he sucked at video games, any video game, it didn't matter) and saw it was a message from Sirius, he immediately started to grin. Nothing had even happened and he already felt a sense of anticipation and excitement surge through him. 

"Here probably? Was gonna throw a rock at the window tru romantic style, but got scared id break it wth my super strength OR wake ur parents OR pick wrong window."

"Probs overthinking it"

"Just imagine i threw the rock. nd tell people thats what i did. sounds cooler."

"REMUS REMUS LET DOWN UR HAIR. O REMUS WHERE ART THOU REMUS"

Remus struggled not to laugh as he received message after message from Sirius in rapid succession, was this a sign he was just as nervous as Remus, or is this just how Sirius is? He wondered, either way it was endearing.

"You just quoted both Rapunzel and Romeo and Juliet simultaneously, you know." Remus replied.

"nd i havent read either of them, impressed?"

Remus rolled his eyes, a grin still plastered on his face.

"Very. My window faces out back. It'll be the only one with a light on, message me when you're down there and I'll climb out."

"gotchu bb" Sirius replied with several hearts.

Remus placed his phone down and quickly walked back over to his bed where he'd left his bag, he wasn't sure what Sirius's plans were but he figured it was better to be prepared so he'd made sure to pick a couple protein bars, a bottle of water, and an extra sweater. When he made his way back to the window, he could see Sirius down there waving his arms around wildly, a giant grin shining on his  face even from down there. Remus waved back, all his nerves wiped away once he actually saw Sirius again- instead he just felt deliriously happy.

He flipped the switch on his bedroom light and carefully lifted the window up, trying his best to minimize any potential noise. After making his way through the window and onto the lip of the roof he grabbed one of the throw pillows from his window seat and he placed it under the window before letting it slide back down. He'd never tell Sirius but he'd googled "how to sneak out of house" while he was waiting for him and had learned that one of the biggest obstacles was getting back into a closed window from the outside.

The second biggest obstacle? Getting on and off the roof.

* * *

 Sirius watched as Remus, who he was thoroughly convinced was the love of his life, made his way expertly out of his bedroom window. He even placed a pillow so he could get in later, genius!

"Do you need help getting down?" Sirius whisper-shouted at the future father of his children. Remus glanced up at Sirius and quietly shook his head, then with the utmost concentration he brought himself to where the pillar upholding the porch connected with the lip of the roof, and shimmied his way down.

"Holy shit..." Sirius said to himself, as he looked on in absolute awe. After a couple of minutes Remus landed softly on the grass below, and made his way over to Sirius with that delightfully infectious grin of his.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" Sirius asked, mouth still hanging open in surprise.

Remus laughed, "When did I say I hadn't? Did you just assume?" Sirius rubbed the back of his head, suddenly supremely nervous with the sudden realization he actually had Remus  _all to himself._

"I... err, I mean, yes- you're just so, uhh..." Sirius stuttered, as Remus continued to stare directly at him, so very close and so very completely and utterly alone with him.

Remus grinned even wider, "My my Mr. Black... is that a blush I see on your cheek?" He reached forward with his right hand and placed it gently on Sirius's furiously red face, the cool touch of Remus's palm only making Sirius feel ten times hotter. As if he knew exactly what Sirius was thinking, Remus took his silence as an opportunity to move closer, placing a tentative hand on Sirius's waist.

"We've... never really been alone before, have we?" Remus asked, and Sirius was relieved to see a slight blush creep across his face as well.

"I was just thinking that." Sirius said with a small chuckle, "Not going to lie... it's kind of intimidating."

Remus snorted, moving his hand from Sirius's cheek to place it on the other side of his waist, suddenly feeling bold Sirius brought his own arms up and placed them on the sides of Remus's face, thumbs tracing small, gentle circles on his skin as he moved himself slowly closer.

"No need to be nervous... it's just me." Remus said quietly, his hands tightening deliciously on Sirius's waist as he pulled their bodies flush against one another.

Now it was Sirius's turn to snort, " _Just_ you? There's so such thing as  _just_ you, Remus, you're-"

Before he could finish the thought Remus closed the last few inches between them to press his lips eagerly against his. Sirius responded with equal enthusiasm, hands moving from Remus's face down to his neck, shoulders, back- pulling him as close as he could possibly be before wrapping his arms around him completely. Remus's hands remained on Sirius's waist, gripping tightly before moving down and under his shirt, hands running up and down his sides and fingers going slightly under the waistband of his jeans.

Remus broke away from the kiss and leaned forward to whisper in Sirius's ear, "So what am I?"

"Aside from a tease?" Sirius whispered back, as Remus began kissing his neck expertly, filling his head with  _very_ inappropriate thoughts.

"Yeah," Remus laughed softly, "Aside from that."

Sirius paused, reaching down to grab Remus's chin and pull his head up to face him. Remus stared at him questioningly, and Sirius felt himself grow suddenly, unbearably nervous.

"...Everything." He said eventually, "I was going to say that you're... everything."

Remus widened his eyes in obvious surprise, before breaking out into that smile Sirius loved more than anything on this Earth.

"That's incredibly cheesy." Remus said, though his smile remained.

Sirius laughed, a loud, joyous laugh.

"What can I say?" He grinned, "I'm a cheesy person." Remus shoved at him playfully and Sirius grabbed his hands, they stood there for a few moments, holding hands and grinning. Sirius felt as if his heart might burst from that contact alone, it was enough just to be near Remus.

"This was my first date ever," Remus said eventually, "So technically... it was also the best."

"So you mean... I win on a technicality?" Sirius asked, earning both a laugh and an eye roll from Remus.

"I guess so, Black."

Still holding both his hands Sirius pulled Remus towards him and kissed him gently on the nose, "I'm okay with that." He said with a small smile. There were only a few moments in Sirius's life that he would have described as "happy" let alone "perfect"- but this was certainly one of them. As he stood there, staring up at Remus, a wave of fear crashed through him- and yet just as quickly abated. He knew Remus was sick, he knew he was (technically) grounded and out of Sirius's reach for the time being. He knew that he lived far away, that he was probably smarter and more capable than Sirius, or at the very least he wasn't a complete delinquent. There were a million things to worry over, to be afraid of; but looking at Remus he couldn't help but feel as if he was far away from all of that, as if suddenly, none of it mattered. He wondered if Remus felt what he felt.

"Me too." Remus said, almost as if he knew what Sirius had been thinking- he somehow always seemed to  _know_ what he was thinking.

Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus again, more than happy to melt away at his touch.

It was the best date he'd ever had, too.

 

 

THE END 

 


End file.
